118. People who don’t ask questions

Dear Erik,
When I look in the mirror I see something different than I feel inside. Without the mirror, I feel deep inside of me like a young god with the world at his feet. But when I look in the mirror, that feeling does not correspond at all with the appearance of the man staring back at me.

I also still feel like I am on an adventure and I am very curious to see what comes my way. Discovering new things, learning new skills. I also think that curiosity is essential for success. And to a large degree the fun you have because of all of the hard work.

I see many people around me who are not at all curious. Who think they know everything. People without questions marks and with exclamation marks only. I have great difficulties with this because it seems to me to be overwhelmingly negative. It seems as if all their energy is directed at letting potential opportunities lead them up dead-end streets. From time to time, I really get very sad about it. Not for myself, but for the people concerned, because they deny themselves so many beautiful things. Business, work, challenges, taking risks, making mistakes and learning from them; it can be wonderful and it can give so much satisfaction.

However, I should not let this worry me, as this is a choice that people make for themselves. But it affects me. It also provokes resistance in me and resentment. I lose interest in working with these people. That’s because I prefer to work with people who see the potential and go all the way instead of working with those who see nothing but impossibilities. Because the first group means progress, with the second group you stagnate.

Seeing the possibilities and going for them does not mean ignoring problems and complications. I believe that if you want to be successful, you have to have a deep understanding of the problems. You must know things inside out, because you want to know exactly what has to be done. Therefore, it has less to do with blind optimism and more with having a strong insight into a subject. Because you want answers to all your questions.

Johan Cruyff once said, “Every disadvantage has its advantage”. People who ask questions discover the advantage in every situation and people with exclamation marks stay stuck in the disadvantage and will never come to a complete picture. And they will deprive themselves of successful experiences.

It is a choice. Erik you are someone with a lot of question marks and only a few exclamation marks. Although, with regard to your daughter who does not want to talk to you – maybe she wants to talk, but not about the things you want to talk about.
Do you share my experience with people with exclamation marks and how do you deal with them?

Sincerely,
Gerard